Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Break Up That Affected Me The Most. It Wasn't Mine :(

Divorced parents are hard to handle. VERY hard.
My parents hadn't gotten along in a long long time. I didn't even remember when we last went for a movie together or when we went out for family dinners. Or vacations. Mom && Dad had had some fight && that had resulted mom not cooking for dad. So Dad didn't eat at home. For years. It was weird.
But what was worse was when at family functions && with family friends , we pretended to be a happy jolly family. That sucked :| Like Big time . Like seriously wtf?
I couldn't wait till they got divorced. Dad had a girlfriend :O Yeah yeah, it was perfectly normal . :|
Things started getting weirder when dad made his girlfriend public. He would get her to my school. Or make her met his friends :\ He even told them friends that I knew her && was cool with it. Okay , I knew. But I WAS NOT cool with it. Plus, she was just yucky :| Like she wasn't even nice or attractive or anything . Bitch bitch bitch. Anyway, thats HIS taste. I guess I wouldn't have approved of her even if she were Jennifer Aniston so whatever . [Btw, I absolutely WORSHIP Aniston :)] SO point is. Socially it was getting weird cuz everyone knew he was cheating on mom. He could've at least TRIED to hide it =|
So like on Dad's birthday which is 28th December 2009 =] Mom && I got cake, && were waiting up for him . Mom technically wasn't, but she did care. Thats just Mom. Give her all the shit you can, shes still gonna love you :)
So we waited.. Called dad, he was apparently picking some people up from the airport . Work thingies. We waited till 2 am :\ He didn't get home. I don't remember them talking after that.
Around February end they had some mega huge fights , dad started some business for his girlfriend , mom got super pissed. Shit like that . So ya . Was quite nasty . REALLY nasty.

28th February 2009, mom ate rat poison . Went to her room. I didn't doubt a thing , she sleeps a lot. Her afternoon naps are rather long. They had some super huge fight again. She was crying. Asll she did was cry those days, then lock herself in her room && scream like a maniac, like someone being tortured. It was scary :|
I was crying cuz she had been crying, I had my boards in two days, so I was trying to study .
So yeah . I didn't know anything about her consumption of poison :|
Suddenly, she came into my room . Shes like "Get dressed, we're going out. 5 minutes" .
I didn't ask questions. I didn't think it was the time to.
I got ready && went downstairs. She was calling weird hospitals . Stupid me, didn't figure out even then :@
We went to some hospital. I didn't notice her looking sick , I didn't bother. I didn't ask anything on the way.
Once we reached the hospital, she asked for 'A Specialist' . They told her there was none available. The normal care doctors were, Mom was like fine . We went inside the doctors cabin.
She goes like " I consumed Rat Poison"
Me *Melodramatically* : Why Mom? What The Fuck Is Wrong With You?
Doctor *Calmly* : Solid Or Liquid Form ?
*I Have Fallen To The Floor && Am Weeping By Now*
*I Also have a VERY strong urge to smack the doctor ! Why isn't he being hyper??? The bitch*
Mom : The Cubes. One packet. With A handful of Brufins [some painkiller.] :|
Doctor : We have to admit you right away. *Walks out*
Mom : I Care about you, thats why I'm here .
*Yeah , sad that thought didn't cross yur mind while eating those yucky things*

Mom was in the hospital. I was waiting outside, they were pumping the poison out . I called the whole of mom's side of family . My boyfriend of that time , had his boards on && I didn't wanna tell him .
I somehow couldn't get through any of my best friends numbers.
I definitely didn't have the guts to call dad . So I stayed there with my mom's parents . Wanting to talk to someone so so bad. But no one was around then :( I couldn't blame no one.
This was about 2pm. Dad came to the hospital at like 7, with his side of the family. Thankfully, I was asked no questions about why I hadn't called him. Everyone was too concerned about me eating or stop crying. I kept thinking ITS NOT ME DAMMIT! Her ! Go ask her if shes okay!!! They wouldn't let me see her :(
That night, I remember going to Nani's [My mom's mom] place. I don't remember going to dad's house , or the house that I lived in which is now called 'Dad's house' , ever again.
Mom was discharged from the hospital the next day. She was weak. Had to rest. But alive !!
My parents were separated then :|
The maids && I made couple of runs to dad's place to get clothes && stuff, but nothing apart from that.
I didn't see him for a quite a long time after that.
I knew mom wouldn't want me to meet him, not then at least. I had to pick a side. I picked mom's . I had to stay there.

Something that life has taught me. Your parents have a part of them in you. They may be mad at you, they may expect a lot. But at the end of the day, no one can love you like they do.
Its unconditional. Friends, lovers may dislike certain things you do && walk away. You parents will just have to accept it.
We never realise , we never value our parents enough .

We must :) I speak to my dad once in a month or something. I see the pain he goes through.
Appreciate your parents :) They're the only ones who are doing what so they do being selfless && out of pure love :)

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