Sunday, October 11, 2015

7 Billion People In This World

Mostly a note to myself but so is most of this blog so what the hell
There is a lot of fucking people in this world. Living in Mumbai is a constant reminder of that fact. Sometimes life seems so insignificant here. Sometimes, The Humans of Bombay posts and comments seem quite pretentious. These stories literally happen everywhere around us? Have these people never really looked around at all? Is the middle and upper middle class so self involved and ignorant that a Facebook post will make them feel but the reality around them won't? I guess it's not their fault. It's hard to focus on every thing that is going on when you step out on the street. We live in chaos. Everyone fends for themselves. And sometimes, human life seems really insignificant. I already said that but I'm trying to make a point here.
Growing up, everyone thinks they're special. You have a future ahead of you with limitless possibilities and you're not yet completely aware of your capabilities and the harshness of the world around you. You have hope. Hope that you might find the cure to cancer. Hope that you might become that teen pop sensation you believe you are. Hope that you will fall in love comfortably and beautifully. Hope that you will be able to give your parents the life they deserve. Growing up doesn't necessarily mean losing hope. But it almost always does. It goes without saying that we live in a corrupt capitalist world and the baby boomers destroyed the economy and global warming is gonna kill us all. But more than the technical factors it's just the realisation that almost everyone around you is average. That they don't have the cure to cancer, or that they will fall in love beautifully but it will end in a bitter divorce. That with the good, comes the bad. And that life isn't fair. Severus Snape said that.
Growing up also means having to make decisions. Real decisions. Decisions that will affect your life. You have to start thinking about the dreaded 'future'. It can weigh you down. The pressure of knowing and doing and being content.
Beating yourself up is never the answer. You're the only one you've got for the long run. I learned that the hard way. Make yourself happy. Think positive thoughts. Literally just ignore the bad, let it build up whatever you ain't got time for that. Do what makes you happy. Don't be afraid to be happy. Be grateful. Always look at the bright side, the silver lining, the cup half full. Learn. Take the bad as a lesson. Even if it seems cruel. Try to grow from it. People don't say this shit for no reason. Even if it is just a defence mechanism. Let the pain make you stronger. Live a badass life just to take revenge on the world if you must. Whatever motivates you do get out of bed and do what you love and makes you happy is alright. As long as it's not like killing people for fun that's fucked up.
And last but certainly not least, don't lose hope. Keep that hopeful 16 year old who believed that she could take over the world. Maybe I can't be a teen pop sensation anymore, but it's never too late to just be a pop sensation.
I'm just snape snape snape snape snape snape it off snape it off

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Too close for comfort

As 90's kids, we were born into a world that was on the brink of the technological revolution. We were the generation that did go out and play and the only enemy was the 'idiot box'. The time before camera phones and Facebook. The visits to dingy cyber cafes, MSN, yahoo messenger and LimeWire.
It took over really fast. There have been revolutionary inventions in our time, it's undeniable. We are already in a world that is co-dependent on technology. Someone told me the other day that it is possible to print human cells. Can you believe that shit? Like fuck robots, we skipped that step. 

While technology is super helpful and necessary at this point, I feel like it is not all for the good.
Now hear me out, I know everyones like oooh snapchat selfies and #werkit #nofilter #blessed. But I remember when we were kids and we were terrified of calling our friends on their landlines. Or when we especially brought out our cameras on special occasions to be able to take pictures. Or when cameras had films!! (don't miss that one tho)
So anyway, the simpler time was not too far ago. And we literally grew up with the World Wide Web, growing as it grew. 
Now I'd be lying if I said the Internet isn't most of my life. It has been for a long time. I'm an OG, I've been here forever. I have seen websites rise and fall. I've cribbed about various Facebook/ Tumblr updates that were unholy. I've watched and lived innumerable memes. I use abbreviations when I speak. 'tbh' that annoys my friends. I've received anon hate and love, made friends, fallen in love, and most importantly experienced the joy that is live blogging. 
The point tho, is that 5 years ago the Internet was a cute tiny space where not everyone was active and not every free space was covered with ads. 
I don't like where the Internet is currently. I liked it when it was just us. The 90's kids. Because old people didn't completely know how to use a computer. And the Kylie Jenner generation was not born yet. 
There are SO MANY websites, blogs, apps, channels, pages, accounts that one can't honestly be expected to keep up all the time. Like I don't have enough hours in my day.
I liked the Internet when I could decide what I could do on it you know. People didn't need to know I was online. You could be low key there. Now when people message you they know if you received their message, read it, what time you read it, what time you were last active at, what time you were last online at, if you have any activity on any other social media outlet which would prove that you're ignoring them. 
People are getting clingy and there is no way to turn it off. 
Everyone has an average of like 500 friends on Facebook. Now if you speak to even like 10% of them actively that is 50 people. Being able to contact you all the time. Maybe I'm just an introvert but I can't handle that much social activity. I also can't handle small talk, which there is a lot of on the Internet. 
10 years ago, I don't think people went out this much. They couldn't constantly keep in touch like we can. They didn't feel the need to take pictures of daily things and post them all over the place. 
I'm not saying there is anything wrong with people wanting to capture their life and share it with their friends and family. 
But when do we stop?
Whatever happened to the concept of personal space?
And are we are a society acting differently because we are constantly under the public eye, even if it's just online? Did people always live like this? Is it healthy? To constantly be exposed to the highlight reel of everyones life (famous and not) and compare it your behind-the-scenes?
Social media is such a powerful tool. I can't express how powerful, it gives us a voice, it gives us access to great things happening around the world, it gives us the power to communicate with anyone anywhere about anything, it raises awareness, educates us about the realities of the world we live in. It is a democracy in most ways. You can do whatever you want and all you need is internet access.
The perks probably outweigh my concerns. And I'm not in any way against social media. I just think we as people are becoming shallow and pretentious and I think social media might have a lot to do with it.
Also, I feel like everyone in our generation has ADHD because we are bombarded with so much information, it is hard to stay focused. That can't be good.
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Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Moment of the day

It's so funny that I keep giving myself excuses for not writing when honestly I'm just a really fucking lazy person. Like it's a disease. Maybe it's just pot but lets not go there.
The point is that when inspiration strikes you can't deny it.
So today I was coming home from work. I was at the InOrbit signal and this beggar kid was forcing me to buy funeral flowers and I really didn't want to. I do have sympathy for every poor kid in India, . I do what I can, when I can. But shit is shady I don't wanna be secretly funding some kid abducting agency or wtv. SO ANYWAY. The signal was red and they've put this new street light on the inorbit side road it's really bright. And there's guys there who also sell bubble makers. Not even the cheap film-roll-box ones anymore, they have intense stuff. And you know how it is, when stock comes there's like 5 of them selling the same thing. So there's like 5 bubble people, at the stopped signal, blowing bubbles in the traffic and it was so surreal. Picture this okay. Annoying traffic, need to pee, wanna get home. And suddenly from everywhere there's just bubbles dancing around. Rising, then descending. The light hitting them and seeing the spectrum in the soap.
Like it felt like a Disney movie, only this is Malad. But I got the feels, it was really beautiful and I wish you all could see it. It was cool.
Alright thats it, lets hope this happens more often. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Thursday, May 28, 2015

“You have to die a few times before you can really live.” — Charles Bukowski

this is fucken real i cant even

Breathe in, Breathe out

It's been a while since I've written here. I want you to know it's not for the lack of fucks I give. Because generally in life I seem to not give a fuck, but if there is anything I do care about, it's writing. I just haven't been brave enough to try this for a while. Which I don't understand because as soon as I start, words just flow.
I guess it had more to do with my state of being than with my skills as a writer. This is a personal blog, I speak my mind here. But my mind has been so all over the place in the recent past. You might notice the title of my blog changed from "Unravel the fickle mind" to what it is currently. And that is because I've recently been trying to accept myself for who I am. For that is of utmost importance.
This blog started as the rantings of a typical teen drama queen. And I'm none of those things anymore. I'm not your relatable-high-school-musical-girl-next-door. I'm not sure who I am anymore. It's funny how I thought I'd have my life figured out by now but I'm just growing more confused with each passing day.
For one, I can't grasp my head around the concept of time. It's been 6 years since I finished 10th grade. It's been 4 years since I turned 18. My friends went to college and graduated and came back. 2000 is as far away is 2030. And nothing from The Jetsons is real yet. And I'm vaguely disappointed in the state of the world.
But I've also come to terms with the fact that this is life. This is the world we live in. The only place that can (to our knowledge) sustain human life. So, I mean, we don't really got any options here.
We're stuck in his corrupt and capitalist world to struggle to find happiness. And I don't care about what they say, money can buy happiness.
But to get money you need a job and to get a job you need ambition and for ambition you need to give some fucks which brings us back to where I started.
I realize that I really have to start caring. And try.
For starters, I'm going to write more. Who cares if it's trash? I like how it feels.