Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Okay. So you're 10 & you have a laptop, an iPod, a facebook and a blackberry? Dude, when I was 10 I had Pokemon cards.


One thing I know I do is take people for granted. Once I get too close & I know they'll take any shit I give them, I start acting like a bitch. Its not a good thing. I'm not proud. But I don't think I even realize what I'm doing until after doing it.
I know where I get it from though. My dad does it. He does it A LOT more than me.
I realise that all adults tend to [to some extent] remove their anger on their kids. Or family members, in general. Well dad & I are all by ourselves. So work/ family/ life all kinda frustration has just one outlet : ME.
It gets increasingly annoying. Like I don't have any problems of our own. My dad comes home & comes to my room & suddenly it is a problem that it is messy. My sleeping habits are not right. Nor are my eating habits. I am irresponsible because I don't wake up for school on my own & I don't care about him because I went for a movie with my friends & not him. Everything I've ever done in my miserable life is no good.
He has quite a temper. Sometimes he is like the coolest dad in the world. Other times, he is a downright pain in the ass. He says a lot of things in anger. Things that I don't know whether he means or not but they hurt so bad, I sob all night. Things about how I hurt him. About how mom did.
I wish life was easier. Sometimes, I talk to life. Tell it that I am only a kid. I don't want to have to deal with all of this. Why me? I mean I know a lot of people have it worse than me. But a lot of people have it much much better.
I just wish things were easier.