Saturday, July 20, 2013

My skin hates me

I've never been one of those people with flawless skin. I've always struggled with acne. But I always thought it was puberty and that I'll be fine. It isn't so bad now but my skin isn't even close to being my best asset.
A couple months ago, when I was in the US, my skin started flaking. Ordinarily, I wouldn't even notice something wrong with my skin unless it was either strikingly evident or irritating. This was both. I dealt with chronic itching and wanted to bathe 4 times a day. Which was very hard considering I had roommates. I went to the school health centre and they diagnosed it as  pityriasis rosea. They said it was an allergy to the Spring weather. I was given something to bathe with everyday and it was supposed to help. It didn't.
I came back and went to see a dermatologist and he diagnosed it as psoriasis. If you don't know what it is and are going to google it, be warned, it isn't pretty. I feel slightly fortunate when I check it on the internet because my skin isn't THAT bad. But it is pretty goddamn awful. I have skin flaking on my legs, on my back, on my torso, on my hands, even my scalp. People usually have one of these regions affected. Everytime I run my fingers through my hair, flakes fall off like a fucking snowstorm. The medicine is sticky and needs to be applied on all the affected areas twice a day. It takes about 20 minutes to put on and then dealing with being sticky all the time. And if I miss one day of medication, it gets worse again.
The waxing lady refused to wax me, I haven't worn shorts in 4 months, everything I clean is covered in dust that is actually my flaked skin the next morning. I feel ugly.
Psoriasis is a lifelong condition which can be controlled but has no cure. It is genetically transferred but is brought on due to stress.
My skin feels gross. I hate my body right now. 

Saturday, July 13, 2013


Today I needed to take a rickshaw for a very short distance. Usually, I'd walk, but the muck. That rhymed. A little.
Anyway, so I told the rickshaw guy to go to D Mart and I live like 2 buildings away from D Mart. Actually, like one. I like to use the word 'like' everywhere like a standard American. Anyway, so the rick guy was a little douchebag because he firstly tried to get me off at Infinity 2, which is like before D Mart cuz he'd get other customers there and I was like nopE so he went till D Mart and I'm like "thoda aagey" and he took it literally thoda aagey and parked. I was in the good mood so I didn't bother arguing and just got off. Walking is good exercise anyway. And I take revenge by not giving the rickshaw wallas exact change. Karma. So he scuttled around for change and someone asked him to go to the Check Naka. Which is the north end of Bombay. And this new customer seemed like a total ass. He's all "Direct check naka bhaga ab." And I could see the agony on my rickshaw guys face.
Do unto others as you would have them do to you
In that moment, possibly because I was Under The Influence, I noticed Karma. He was a dick to me, now he had to deal with someone else being a dick. And that someone else probably has a wife who beats him. I realized that even in the smallest forms, there is balance in the world. Maybe it's not very well balanced. Maybe it is. If you took a persons every act and compared it the good and bad they received from the world, you'd probably break even. Maybe you can try it by doing a lot of good and seeing what happens. Or doing a lot of bad, if you're into that shit. Trust the world a little. It's been around for a long time and knows what it's doing. It isn't your job to save it. That doesn't mean you don't care or try. But don't be so hard on yourself. Let go and let karma take care of things that are hurting you.