Tuesday, May 17, 2011


Have you ever felt completely helpless? Like nothing you do in your life is under your control. Your parents, your friends, circumstances decide what way your life will go. & no matter how hard you try to fight it there always seems like there is nothing you can do.
& then one day, just some small thing pushes you off the edge. & then you cry & cry. You cry for yourself, & for the people dying in Japan & for yourself & the kids starving in Africa & then you curl up into this bundle of self-pity & get consumed by depression.
That happens to me. & now with the board pressure & everything, I happens more often than usual.
I miss my mom more than ever. I hate my dad's girlfriend even though she is nothing but nice to me. I hate my face. I hate my dad. I hate my friends. I'm such a loathing cynical piece of shit.
It makes me sick. I make me sick. The way I act like a bitch. The way I procrastinate. The way I fuck things up.
& I realise what I'm doing. & I realise the consequences. But I'll still just sit here & not do anything to make things right.
This is just a pointless rant of me admitting to myself once again about how stupid I am >.<


  1. You're not half of the things you claim to be there ^
    Not half of the stuff you portray to be

    You're a nice person man :)

  2. I agree with vin1094