So I read all these Hallmark ad's about Mothers Day.
Well I have no idea what I'm gonna do since I haven't spoken to my mom in ages. But that isn't the point of this post.
This day just brings back a memory.
I don't remember how old it is.
I was 6 or 7 I guess. && its funny how I remember this but I don't remember what I ate for dinner last night.
So it was probably a day before mothers day. My friend & I wanted to get our mommy something. So we went to our daddy for cash.
It was the very first time I was allowed to go out alone & buy something, without any parent advice.
Even though the store was right across the street it was a HUGE deal.
We got all dressed up & put the money safely in our pink barbie purses & walked carefully across the street.
When we got there all the million choices baffled us. But we finally decided on a tiny angel jewelry box thingies. We both agreed upon & decided to buy the same thing.
I remember running back home & carefully gift-wrapping it. I mean as carefully as a 6 year old could. Then hiding it away until I had to give it to my mom.
The silly feeling of being onto something important. The thrill of hiding it from my mom, even though I'm pretty sure she knew. All of that was stupid. But what I wouldn't give for feeling that way again.
I've mentioned this friend in a post earlier. As "P". Yes, her mom passed away two years ago. I don't know why her mom's death had such a great influence on me, but it did. I haven't had anyone close to me pass away. Except my great grandmother but I don't think that counts. All my grandparents, parents, friends, everyone is fine. So I guess that is why this affected me.
Having someone with you everyday. Helping you. Fighting with you. Fighting for you. Just being there. & then one day, they're not. How does it feel?
I haven't had to find out, & I hope I don't have to.
Every time I go to shopping for Mother's Day, this particular incident pops in my head & I run for the bathroom to cry. Its not fair that she doesn't have anyone to buy gifts for anymore. Its not fair that my circumstances are so weird that I can't talk to my mom. Life isn't fair. But I guess, no one said it would be,
Well I have no idea what I'm gonna do since I haven't spoken to my mom in ages. But that isn't the point of this post.
This day just brings back a memory.
I don't remember how old it is.
I was 6 or 7 I guess. && its funny how I remember this but I don't remember what I ate for dinner last night.
So it was probably a day before mothers day. My friend & I wanted to get our mommy something. So we went to our daddy for cash.
It was the very first time I was allowed to go out alone & buy something, without any parent advice.
Even though the store was right across the street it was a HUGE deal.
We got all dressed up & put the money safely in our pink barbie purses & walked carefully across the street.
When we got there all the million choices baffled us. But we finally decided on a tiny angel jewelry box thingies. We both agreed upon & decided to buy the same thing.
I remember running back home & carefully gift-wrapping it. I mean as carefully as a 6 year old could. Then hiding it away until I had to give it to my mom.
The silly feeling of being onto something important. The thrill of hiding it from my mom, even though I'm pretty sure she knew. All of that was stupid. But what I wouldn't give for feeling that way again.
I've mentioned this friend in a post earlier. As "P". Yes, her mom passed away two years ago. I don't know why her mom's death had such a great influence on me, but it did. I haven't had anyone close to me pass away. Except my great grandmother but I don't think that counts. All my grandparents, parents, friends, everyone is fine. So I guess that is why this affected me.
Having someone with you everyday. Helping you. Fighting with you. Fighting for you. Just being there. & then one day, they're not. How does it feel?
I haven't had to find out, & I hope I don't have to.
Every time I go to shopping for Mother's Day, this particular incident pops in my head & I run for the bathroom to cry. Its not fair that she doesn't have anyone to buy gifts for anymore. Its not fair that my circumstances are so weird that I can't talk to my mom. Life isn't fair. But I guess, no one said it would be,
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