I just realized my blogs title used to be "rantingsofatypicalteendramaqueen.blogspot.com" and I changed it a while ago but everything on my blog is about the struggles of being an ordinary teenager. And in 6 months I'm not going to be a teenager. I feel so not ready to be so old. I've never dreamed about being a powerful career lady or a really successful mom or a crazy romance where I get married in brazil or something. All I've ever dreamed of being is a very cool teen blogger or something. Like in awkward or the Carrie diaries. You know she leads an ordinary but extremely eventful life and pulls out deep meanings behind daily happenings and yeah you get the point.
Getting back to what this post was about. I'm not ready to be an adult. Like a legit non-teenager. A teenager is who I am. It's like my destiny. I don't have a disorder where I have an irrational fear of growing up, I am not scared. I'm sad. Very nostalgic. It's like in losing an old friend and everything's going to change now. Kind of like PPD. I'm not ready to let go yet. So I'm going to make the next six months the best of my life. And I'm going to do that by letting my guard down and being impulsive and letting loose and not being so uptight and lazy. These 6 months are about having fun. They're about making mistakes. About putting myself out there. Not being so afraid of rejection. Being more confident. Believing in myself. Caring about the ones around me. Making people feel loved. Living the teenage dream (I'm in California for crying out loud this could NOT get better!). And finally finding myself.
It's so cool that I thought of all this EXACTLY 6 months before my birthday. HAPPY HALF BIRTHDAY TO ME!