Sunday, December 18, 2011


So there is this girl. We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember. My dad dated her mom back when they were teenagers. We grew up like 2 minutes away from each other. I was at her parents wedding. Then she came along. She is 2 years younger than me. We did everything together. School, dance class, art class, parties, sleepovers. Everything. Then my house caught fire and I had to move out. Then we didn’t feel like moving back into the same house. Too many memories destroyed by fire. So I moved away. Went to a new school. Got new friends. Had a new life. She did too. But we were still always there for each other. I went back to my old neighborhood on every holiday. Holi, Diwali, Ganesh Chaturti, Navratri. And I didn’t see her very often but when things went bad with our new lives, we looked for each other. Always there for each other. Making the bad parts easier. It has been that way for like 10 years now. We grew distant, but we were still always there for each other. Through my parents divorce. Through her grandmoms death. Everytime. 

So recently, she started dating my exes younger brother. I had ended things with my  ex quite badly but that was two years ago and we both cool with it now. We were friends. But my exes girlfriend didn’t approve of that. She didn’t allow him to speak to me. And I knew that if I wanted to get back with him, it would a piece of cake. So I understood why she was insecure. I didn’t question it. I backed off. I didn’t want him, so I didn’t spoil whatever he had with his girlfriend. So one day, I was at dinner with the above mentioned friend, lets call her CeeCee. And CeeCee’s boyfriend was there too. And I was messing with his phone cuz I was bored. And since everyone here owns a Blackberry, BBM is what we mess with. So I sent random messages to a lot of people. Unfortunately, including his brother. After we got home, the girlfriend texted CeeCee asking her to ask me to back off and stay away and all that. And I was like, god woman control your insecurities. I was just messing around. But she is literally too dumb to function, so she went ahead and threatened me. That she wouldn’t spare me if I spoke to her guy again. Now, I was trying to be nice. But she was just constantly provoking me and I couldn’t help but tell her how stupid I thought she was and stuff. So we ended up arguing for over 2 hours. She is like immune to sarcasm and frustratingly idiotic so I gave up. Then my exes best friend, who also happens to be best friends with the girlfriend made a few snide remarks about me but I literally wasn’t bothered to say anything. So I just didn’t. I let it go and it was all dead.
Recently, because of her boyfriend, CeeCee has become really close friends with this bitch of a girlfriend and the best friend. She has them in her pictures and status’ and shit. But I couldn’t tell her that it hurt me that my oldest best friend would be all chummy with people who talk crap about me all the time, but I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t exactly tell her who to be friends with and who not to. But she is one of the people I expected to stand up for me. But thats not the kinda you ask for. Its just what you expect. Yesterday CeeCee came to me and told me that I don’t have time for her anymore. That I neglect her. And that I haven’t been there for her. And I was like I’m sorry you were too busy fraternizing with the enemy :/ So we met for lunch today and I told her why I was hurt and she told me she understood and that it was her fault that she didn’t realise how it would affect me. And she apologized. And I forgive her. We’ve been friends for too long to let this come between us. But what now? She is still going to be friends with them. They’re still going to hate me. My safe place doesn’t seem so safe anymore. And she expects everything to go back to normal. She is asking me what she can do to make it okay. And I really don’t know what to say. Our friendship was supposed to be the only thing there when everything else gets hard. And now our friendship is what is so complicated. I really don’t know what to do. And I can see how sorry she is and how she doesn’t wanna loose me and I don’t want to loose her either. Maybe we’re just not 10 years old watching Disney movies together anymore. That times have changed. And so have we. Why is it all so hard to accept?


  1. *tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight warm hugs*
    Not so bad. But yeah, BFF in enemy land. Statuses, photos, everything with them. And I feel like a freakin loser =|
    Hated it.
    And yeah, it always is going to be like that.
    Things aren't how they were back then.
    I sometimes feel like screaming and telling her Wwhy the faak do you even bloody talk to them?!! But then I'm like her life, let it go.
    And those few times I feel all alone.
    All this time, because I had her, I didn't really go out and make a bajillion best friends. I spoke to a lot of 'em but only she knew what exactly was in my mind n heart. N there were those times when I felt like all alone. Like a freaking island =|
    But I'm okay now. I'm over it. Made new friends in college. Even though nobody could ever replace her or what we have. EVER!
    You take care love <3

  2. P.S Tell me what font this is, on your blog, please?
    Thanks x